THE STAFF ROOM · COLLECTIVE ONLY

The staff room.

Where the house says thank you out loud, keeps its dates, pins its notices, and talks by the cooler. Ten stations in four wings — pick a door, follow the line. One door code opens everything; ask Katie.

HOUSE RULES · KEEP IT KIND · NO CLIENT NAMES · SAID TO FACES, NOT ABOUT THEM · KATIE CAN TAKE ANYTHING DOWN
THE HOUSE BELIEVES · GOODWILL · HONESTY · RELIABILITY · COMPETENCY
THE KEY RACK · THE DOORS OUT OF THE ROOMMONDAYSLACKHARVESTLINKEDIN IMAGES · THE PRINT ROOMTHE SIGNATURE GENERATOR
THE MOTOR POOL · WHO RIDES WHAT

Triple-click your red dot — on your profile, or at the end of anything you’ve signed — and your ride pulls up, goes around the world, and parks again. Press any bay for a test drive on the house track. Reduced motion keeps every engine off. Visitors are told none of this.

THE LOT · UNCLAIMED · TAKE ONE FOR A LAP, THEN TELL KATIE
THE WINGS
BRING YOUR PET TO WORK DAY · THE WING IS EMPTY. THE BUILDING IS NOT. AquilaLadyMilo

Raise a toast

READ ALOUD AT THURSDAY FIKA · HANGS IN THE SWEETSHOP WHILE FIKA IS ON
280 LEFT
WHAT PASSES THE HOUSE RULES POSTS ITSELF. THE RULES ARE SHORT. SO ARE GOOD TOASTS.
ON THE BOARD THIS WEEK · FOR THE READER

NO TOASTS YET THIS WEEK. SOMEBODY DID SOMETHING — SAY SO.

Thursday’s table

ONE HOST A WEEK · THE SWEETSHOP’S FIKA IS ON PLACARD NAMES YOU
THIS THURSDAY’S TABLE · THE HOST POURS. THE SWEETSHOP NAMES YOU.

The cake calendar

FED FROM THE TEAM RECORDS · MONTH AND DAY ONLY, NEVER THE YEAR
UPCOMING IN THE HOUSE · THE CAKE CALENDAR
Miles NewtonSEP 17 · IN 13 DAYS
Cole ClaybournOCT 19 · IN 45 DAYS
Olivia JansenNOV 20 · IN 77 DAYS
Stephanie MargalisFEB 14 · IN 163 DAYS
Tawnya CoatesFEB 15 · IN 164 DAYS
Rachel SchreiberAPR 4 · IN 212 DAYS

The bulletin board

PINNED UNTIL TWENTY NEWER NOTES ARRIVE

get your time in

KATIE

The water cooler

NOTES EVAPORATE IN SEVEN DAYS · THAT IS THE POINT OF COOLER TALK

NOBODY IS AT THE COOLER. SAY SOMETHING UNIMPORTANT.

The suggestion drawer

PITCH A FLOURISH · THE GOOD ONES REACH THE FLOURISH FILE WITH YOUR NAME ON THEM

The pet registry

SIT, STAY, HANG · NEW RESIDENTS LAND AS DRAFTS BEFORE THE WING AND THE PARADE
THE PET REGISTRY · REGISTER A RESIDENT →
AS IT APPEARS ON THE PLAQUE · E.G. GUSTAV
E.G. CHIEF MORALE OFFICER · HEAD OF SECURITY IS TAKEN
YOUR NAME · THE MEET MY HUMAN LINE ON THE CARD
THE WING HANGS PHOTOS, NOT DESCRIPTIONS · GREYSCALE AND FRAMES ARE THE HOUSE’S JOB
NEW RESIDENTS LAND AS DRAFTS. KATIE FRAMES THEM BEFORE THE WING, AND THE PARADE DRAFTS EVERYONE.

The portrait studio

SIT FOR YOUR PLACARD · IT LANDS AS A DRAFT FOR KATIE TO FRAME
THE PORTRAIT STUDIO · SIT FOR YOUR PLACARD →

The collective page runs on real records, and yours starts here. Every field lands on your team record exactly as the site reads it — Katie frames the draft before it hangs. Bring a headshot; the painter does not wait.

E.G. KATIE CLARK
E.G. FOUNDER & CEO
CITY, STATE · E.G. PHILADELPHIA, PENNSYLVANIA
THE FULL URL · https://www.linkedin.com/in/…
ONE SENTENCE, YOUR WHOLE JOB · E.G. “THE STRATEGY DESK, AND THE LAST READ BEFORE ANYTHING SIGNS.”
WHAT YOU DO, WHO YOU DO IT FOR, AND WHAT TWENTY YEARS TAUGHT YOU · WRITTEN LIKE YOU TALK
THE PROSE THAT HANGS UNDER YOUR LEAD · TWO TO FIVE PARAGRAPHS, A BLANK LINE BETWEEN THEM · THE WORK, THE CLIENTS, THE WAY YOU RUN A ROOM
SOMETHING YOU ACTUALLY SAY · IT HANGS BIG ON YOUR BIO
HOUSE FORMAT · B.S., MARKETING — PENN STATE UNIVERSITY
THE INDUSTRIES YOU KNOW COLD · E.G. HEALTHCARE, FINANCIAL SERVICES
THE SHAPE OF THE YEARS · E.G. 20+ YEARS, AGENCY AND IN-HOUSE
THE HUMAN PARAGRAPH · PETS WELCOME, THEY MAY BE DRAFTED FOR THE PARADE
POWERS THE CAKE CALENDAR, AND YOUR PROFILE THROWS A PARTY ON THE DAY
SHOULDERS UP, LOOKING AT THE ROOM · IT HANGS AT 420 × 500
THE SITTING LANDS AS A DRAFT. KATIE FRAMES IT BEFORE IT HANGS IN THE COLLECTIVE.

The parlour

ONE FORTUNE A DAY · THE CARDS ARE DEALT HERE AND READ AT FIKA
STEPHANIE’S TABLE · THE SITE DEALS, STEPHANIE READS · UPRIGHT ONLY, THE HOUSE DEALS KINDLY
PAST
PRESENT
FUTURE

The quiet minute

IN FOUR · HOLD FOUR · OUT FOUR · NOTHING TRACKED, NOTHING STORED
TODAY’S STRETCH

HANDS BEHIND THE BACK, OPEN THE CHEST. THE WEEK IS NEARLY HUNG.

GO OUTSIDE · THE WORK WILL BE HERE
FIG. 19 — THE STAFF ROOM · SEVEN STATIONS, ONE WALK